January 13, 1996. Des Moines, Iowa. The Righteous Brothers’ rendition of Unchained Melody was one of many oldies playing in the background as my dad held my mother’s hand. Unbeknownst to the DJ, each melody was part of the soundtrack to my parents’ courtship.
This playlist aired during the demise of a 31 year marriage, as the light dimmed from my mother’s eyes and she slipped away, a short 17 months after her war with ovarian cancer began.
There are many emotions connected to this post. At first I wanted to ignore the day, as if it would go away. But as the clock struck midnight and the tears began to fall, my phone rang. Knowing me better than anyone, an old friend called and took my mind off the pain. He made me laugh and said my mom wanted me to be happy. In the end, I realized this day couldn’t go by without honoring her. After all, it is a blog about being a better version of me, and who better to spotlight as a top 30 influencer than the woman who started it all?
My parents had the great love story. Boy and girl triumph after overcoming great obstacles in their young lives to be together.
Unfortunately, they were unable to have children of their own. Following the long process of solidifying my sister’s adoption, they started the paperwork to ensure she had a little sister. Little did they know, a shoe box with holes would arrive with me inside on May 19, 1982 (at least that is how my sister tells the story).
Visiting the Science Center to eat astronaut ice cream, watching Bert and Ernie during Sesame Street Live, dreaming of gliding in glittery costumes when seeing the Ice Capades, grasping the bar white-knuckled as the roller coaster raced down the first hill, and watching the “Greatest Show on Earth,” thanks to Barnum & Bailey… my mother was part of it all. She understood how one moment, one experience, can shape you forever. By bringing the youthful version of fantasy to life through our outings, she taught me how to dream. As a musician with high hopes never fulfilled, she taught me to be blind to unwarranted obstacles. She taught me to never forget those who make you who you are and to always have compassion, faith and kindness in every action you take.
In short, she taught me to live as she herself was dying.
Exactly 15 years ago today, my mother's fight ended. The battle was won and a part of me died as cancer was named the champion.
Though her blood doesn’t run through me, from my mom I inherited the ability to ignore the clouds and reach for the stars.
In short, she taught me to live as she herself was dying.
Exactly 15 years ago today, my mother's fight ended. The battle was won and a part of me died as cancer was named the champion.
Though her blood doesn’t run through me, from my mom I inherited the ability to ignore the clouds and reach for the stars.
So to every man or woman reading this post - here’s to the women in your life who kissed your scraped knees, bought your first ice cream cone, sang you to sleep, cried on your first day of school and were filled with pride when you graduated. Here’s to the people who make us who we are.
Now, go call your mother. J
